What a wonderful workers’ paradise we live in! In what other country could a normal jane/joe government worker feast themselves with the same pleasures, vacations, golf excursions as the president? Tonight, if all goes according to plan, the workers paradise will not be lowly HOPE, but a most definite CHANGE. Federal workers of the nation: REJOICE!
How wonderful that we all live in this new age of HOPE and CHANGE. How exhilarating to breathe in the fumes of unity and sweet perfumes of B.O. We are all overcome with happiness.
The cherry blossoms are in bloom. The planet is healing. The oceans are receding. The pages are turning away from all the horrible tortures of previous America. No longer will Americans have to suffer as they did in the 1990s by having to work. We are in a new age of glory.
The workers tonight will be free. No more work. Take that Bill Clinton – you who provided so many jobs like some sort of modern day Simon Legree, keeping the workers under the lash. Obama has brought forth liberation. Obama is showing the way! Just think how glorious it would be if all the federal government workers about to be liberated from their humdrum workaday lives would join glorious leader this weekend in his latest example to the working class of the joys of the dolce vita – a Williamsburg vacation.
Evil Bill Clinton oppressed the workers and made sure there was a steady supply of jobs. Evil Bill Clinton the oppressor of the working class. Mess-iah Obama has brought forth HOPE.
There are new enemies threatening the new Jerusalem about to descend. As Obama brings forth the workers’ paradise of golf, and endless vacations evil men like Eric Cantor make threats such as “We Will Not Leave Town Until We Cut Spending & Get Our Fiscal House In Order” and keep the federal government from shutting down: