That's how I felt watching 1997's "The Justice League of America." But then I saw Miguel Ferrer ("Crossing Jordan" and one epiosde of "Will & Grace" where he won't give Grace his business unless she gets Will to go out with him) and I knew it was for real. [May 13th correction: Ferrer was on "Crossing Jordan," I typed "Medium." My mistake.]
Click here for IMDB listing.
This is so awful. The stunts are so cheap to non-existent. And you're clued in on that early on. Kenny Johnston plays Barry Allen and he's being kicked out of his apartment because he lost his job and owes rent. So the complex manager is in his upstairs apartment while Barry's on the front yard and the manager's tossing Barry's clothes out the window. Barry gets a call/page (I don't know, it just starts ringing and what did he answer?) and says he has to go but he'll be back when the guy tosses out his stereo or DVD player or I don't know what. Maybe VCR? (The film's from 1997.) He makes a point of showing it and getting Barry's attention. Then he drops it.
How does this indicate that you're watching a really cheap show?
It falls and hits the ground and breaks.
If you're not a fan of comics -- or DC comics -- you may not get my point yet.
Barry Allen is the Flash. Meaning the second the guy was going to toss it or even after he did, Barry has the power to run and catch it before it hits the ground.
This was cheaply made.
It's a TV movie that was supposed to be a pilot. Some people are flat out awful. I would include Kimberly Oja who plays Tori Olafsdotter on that list. As the victim to be rescued? She'd be believable. As super hero Ice? Not at all. She's miscast and the bad script can't help her. I'll come back to the acting.
Yeah, that's how cheap the whole thing is. It's okay if you've never heard of Ice. There aren't a lot of big characters in the piece. Besides Flash, the other big one is Green Lantern and Matthew Settle plays him. Settle's probably the only one who manages to pull it off. Even with a hideous costume and no real storyline to speak of, Settle makes you believe he's Green Lantern (and the alter ego Guy Garnder). Watching this crappy pilot, the big question has to be why someone didn't say: Okay, Settle works, let's use this to launch a Green Lantern TV show starring him.
If you don't know Ice, you won't know Fire. They are minor DC characters. Most people have never heard of them. Fire is played by Michelle Hurd who is better in her role than Oja but she's giving some awful lines to say.
Such as? The villain's unleashing bad weather (I'm not joking) and at one point, a wall blows over on some construction workers. It lands on some beams or something so it doesn't flatten them but it traps them. She burns a door through the wall and tells them, "Coffee break's over, boys."
It's not funny, it's not cute.
Or something? The camera never seems to be where it should. In fairness, that might be because they didn't have a budget for stunts so the camera tries to hide that.
The worst acting isn't Oja. And, again, she's miscast. I could see her doing the same performance as a victim and being really good in the role. She's also likeable which is apparently the whole point of the pilot. MTV's "Real World" was all the rage so what "The Justice League" does is try to take the heroes and put them in that setting. So you get a lot of talking to the camera, etc. If that sounds interesting to you, click here and go to YouTube where you'll find Pfeil Productions' parody "Meet the Justice League: Episode 1" which is far funnier and is intended to be. That's something a group of friends made as a parody and it works as a parody.
But this TV pilot is awful. Why would you want to sit through this? Did anyone ever ask that?
"Real World" wasn't popular with kids. It was popular with teens. But kids aren't going to watch it done with super heroes. And it's just so annoying.
John Kassir is awful as Ray Palmer, the Atom. He's awful in the role and the character is the last needed -- especially on a cheap budget (the Atom's big power is his ability to reduce himself to the size of an atom).
I'm ignoring Martian Manhunter. Why? I'm Black.
If you're a person of color and read comics, you're aware of how few people of color there are in comic books -- even now. So when a person of color comes along, you expect them to be played by a person fo color. Martian Manhunter is green. He's played by a White man.
And it's a White man from the sitcom "M*A*S*H." Get the problem?
This was a really awful movie and you can't believe it ever got a network to pay for it to be filmed. This is just awful, the worst. You can find it on YouTube in parts and also the full movie in one stream.
Going out with C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot:"